I Could Not Ask for More

There is nothing I love more than my two little boys and their cute little faces.

Noah: Some of the things Noah does at his age amaze me. He is so smart for a 3 year old.  He knows his ABC's and can correctly identify each letter, upper and lower case. He can also count to 20, although sometimes he says his numbers out of order after 13.  Every night with Noah, Josh and I alternate reading him a bedtime story. I do something extra with him. We have our own little "I love you" dialog and it goes something like this:

Me: "I love you"
Noah: "I love you more"
Me: "I love you the mostest"
Noah: I love you the mostest like a Hostess"
Me: "I love you to the moon"
Noah: "I love you to the moon...and back!"
Both: "And I love you FOREVER!"

It's a special little moment that he and I get to share and I love it. With every I love you, my heart melts and I fall in love with how innocent my little guy is.

Recently with the issues with my heart, when I am feeling bad, Noah will ask me how I am feeling. After a really rough day, he could tell and came over to me and grabbed my chin to lift my head and said, "Mommy, it's okay. You'll feel better".

My morning today was out of the ordinary. I woke up to Noah yelling at Josh and I to come downstairs. I had no idea he was even awake. I told him I would be down as soon as I checked on Kolsen. He continued to yell, "Mom, Dad, come downstairs." When we didn't answer him, he said "Guys, you understand my saying?" TOO FUNNY!!!!! I came downstairs to turn on the TV for Noah to get him occupied and then went up to get Kolsen, only to discover that he peed a river in his crib. So first thing, I got his bath ready, got him undressed and bathed him. What a way to start a morning! The rest of today has been pretty relaxed.

Kolsen: he is a dime a dozen. He is the most laid back baby I have ever encountered. Nothing much bothers him and he laughs at everything. I love that he is so happy go lucky. His little smile and laugh melt my heart. It is hard for me to believe that he has been in this world for 4 months now. He recently started eating baby foods. It took him a few days to get used to but now he has the hang of it.  I can't imagine my life without that little bundle of happiness.

My boys give me so much to live for and inspire me to push through. They are the best little boys in the world...and I could not ask for more!

Classic VW Car Show

I've been trying to do as much as I can with my little family prior to the big surgery. One of the things we have done lately is go to the Classic VW Car Show at Town Square shopping center on October 1st. There were so many cool VW's and I never thought in a million years that I would ever want a classic VW until I saw some of the ones that were there. There was a VW Beetle that was pink and white on the outside and the inside was just as girly. LOVED IT! Noah really enjoyed all the Beetles and buses and all the classic cars. It was nice to see his little face light up at every car we looked at.

Times, they are a changin'

Lots of things have been happening in our household lately. First and foremost, there's the issue with my pacemaker which you know by now. Josh's mother is generously coming out for a week and a half to assist with the boys so I can recover. I don't know how long recovery will be but I am grateful for the time she will be here to help. I only wish my mom could be here as well. It will be difficult not having her here but I know she will be thinking of me and praying for me, which is enough for me.

Secondly, last Saturday, we adopted a cat from the NSPCA. His name was Charlie. Unfortunately, Charlie only lasted two days in our house due to an allergic reaction that never existed before. I contacted the NSPCA this last Monday and explained the situation and was able to return him the next day. We felt horrible and Noah had the hardest time with it. So with the allergic reaction came a lot of deep cleaning because any hint of cat hair was NO BUENO!!!! After hours of cleaning, I think I finally de-allergized the house (if that is even a word). Nonetheless, I have my fingers crossed that all is sanitized and clean.

To make up for us not being able to keep the cat, I took Noah today to buy two new fish for his tank. He ended up getting a yellow barb and a zebra barb. He is so very proud of them. So now his tank consists of the two barbs, a pleco, a snail and upside-down catfish. I am hopeful they will have long lives.

Furthermore, Kolsen rolled over for the first time last week. I have video proof of his 2nd rollover (its about 1:46 in the video) and it was AMAZING!!! My baby is growing so fast....already at 15lbs., 11 oz.  It is hard to believe he is already 4 months old.

Next, I got the green light from the pediatrician for Kolsen to start solid foods. I started him off with rice cereal yesterday but he didn't want anything to do with it. I tried again this morning and he got frustrated, my guess because he didn't understand he had to swallow. My third attempt was with sweet potatoes. At first I had the same problem but then he got used to it and ate about 1/4 of the container. I guess the third time IS the charm.

As far as other changes, they are coming, albeit I don't know what they are or when they'll come but I have faith that no matter what the change, all will be as it should.

Scary Situation

Well, the time is coming up for me to have my surgery.

Just a little recap for those of you who don't know, I was born with a congenital heart block, which basically means my heart does not beat normally. At age 11, I had my first artificial pacemaker implanted in order to keep my heart in working order. In 2001, I had my pacemaker replaced due to battery issues. This is normal as I will have to have surgery every 8 to 10 years to replace my pacemaker.  In 2009, I had my pacemaker replaced again. Recently I started having problems with pain and lost of discomfort in my chest.  After a visit to the emergency room, it was determined that my pacemaker had shifted and was causing the discomfort. After a follow up visit with my cardiologist, it was also determined that the lead wires that connect my pacemaker to my heart are not in great condition and therefore, the electrical current is not staying in the wires, resulting in me feeling the pain and multiple jolts each day. At this point, surgery is imminent and needed to re-position my pacemaker and replace the wires that connect it to my heart. This surgery is invasive as they have to remove the wires from my heart and replace them. As with all surgeries, there are risks, but with this being my heart, the risks are high.

My surgery is scheduled for October 27th. I am extremely nervous and yet hopeful that all goes as planned and that I don't have any problems during my surgery. It is very scary when it comes to surgery where my heart is concerned. All I can do is hope and pray that things go well and that I recover with ease.

More "Heart" Times

Well if it's not one thing it's another. A few days ago I began to have health issues. For those who know me, I have a heart condition which is treated by an internal pacemaker. The area where my pacemaker is located began to hurt and be extremely uncomfortable. I went to the ER on Monday to find out my heart rate is all over the place and my pacemaker may have come unsutured and need to be fixed. To make matters worse, while in the ER, my IV blew during my CT scan.

Because of my insurance, I have to wait to get my referral processed in order to get back to the cardiologist. I am so terrified at the thought of having to have surgery again. Once I get into the cardiologist I will know more so in the meantime, I'm saying lots of prayers, taking my meds, resting and hoping for the best.

All is well....all is well.

Kolsen had his cardiology appointment today and the verdict is......ALL IS WELL! His heart murmur is a normal murmur for infants so no worries whatsoever. So thankful that Kolsen doesn't have to endure what I endure regularly.

On a much larger note, I am taking things one day at a time and hoping for the best. While most do not know what I'm talking about, just know that for now, I'm okay.

Terrible 3's

I honestly don't know what has gotten into Noah lately. It seems like he is testing Josh and I to the point that our patience is wearing thin. If anyone reads my blog, perhaps you could give me some insight on this. Whenever he doesn't get what he wants, he screams the most unbearable high pitch scream and then whines and whines until he gets what he wants. WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO DO???!!!  Of course, our answer is always no to what he wants once he starts this. It has gotten to the point that I cannot take him to do things as I planned because he acts out. For example, we were supposed to go to Utah this last Friday but almost half way there, Noah got sick. We turned around and came home so he could get better. To make up for not getting to go, I planned on taking him bowling for the first time.....until the terribleness took over! He starting whining and crying because he wasn't getting what he wanted at that particular time. We stood our ground, disciplined as best we could and then forced Noah to take a nap. When he woke up, he was much better, however, we didn't go bowling.  I really wish there was something more I could when he gets into these moods. Tantrums are no fun and I can only hope it gets better as time passes.