Birthday Bummer

January 31st is Noah's 4th Birthday. Our plan was to take Noah out for a fun dinner somewhere as he is having his birthday party this Saturday. After midnight on the 31st, Noah woke up crying, gasping and coughing. It was evident from the sound of his cough that he had croup again. After a breathing treatment and trying to calm him down, I ended up taking him to the emergency room. Thankfully he was not admitted and the doctor was able to get his croup under control. After several hours in the ER, we finally made it home at 4:30 a.m.

While this is not at all how I planned to celebrate Noah's 4th Birthday, I am thankful he is okay and hopeful he will be well in time for his party on Saturday.

Scary Situation

Well, the time is coming up for me to have my surgery.

Just a little recap for those of you who don't know, I was born with a congenital heart block, which basically means my heart does not beat normally. At age 11, I had my first artificial pacemaker implanted in order to keep my heart in working order. In 2001, I had my pacemaker replaced due to battery issues. This is normal as I will have to have surgery every 8 to 10 years to replace my pacemaker.  In 2009, I had my pacemaker replaced again. Recently I started having problems with pain and lost of discomfort in my chest.  After a visit to the emergency room, it was determined that my pacemaker had shifted and was causing the discomfort. After a follow up visit with my cardiologist, it was also determined that the lead wires that connect my pacemaker to my heart are not in great condition and therefore, the electrical current is not staying in the wires, resulting in me feeling the pain and multiple jolts each day. At this point, surgery is imminent and needed to re-position my pacemaker and replace the wires that connect it to my heart. This surgery is invasive as they have to remove the wires from my heart and replace them. As with all surgeries, there are risks, but with this being my heart, the risks are high.

My surgery is scheduled for October 27th. I am extremely nervous and yet hopeful that all goes as planned and that I don't have any problems during my surgery. It is very scary when it comes to surgery where my heart is concerned. All I can do is hope and pray that things go well and that I recover with ease.

More "Heart" Times

Well if it's not one thing it's another. A few days ago I began to have health issues. For those who know me, I have a heart condition which is treated by an internal pacemaker. The area where my pacemaker is located began to hurt and be extremely uncomfortable. I went to the ER on Monday to find out my heart rate is all over the place and my pacemaker may have come unsutured and need to be fixed. To make matters worse, while in the ER, my IV blew during my CT scan.

Because of my insurance, I have to wait to get my referral processed in order to get back to the cardiologist. I am so terrified at the thought of having to have surgery again. Once I get into the cardiologist I will know more so in the meantime, I'm saying lots of prayers, taking my meds, resting and hoping for the best.

"Heart" Times

I took Kolsen to the pediatrician yesterday for his 2 month well check. It is hard for me to believe he is already 9 weeks old! While the pediatrician was checking Kolsen's vitals, he turned to me and asked me if I was familiar with what a heart murmur is. I immediately thought, "oh my gosh, something is wrong with his heart! What do I do? What do I say?" Holding back tears, I told him that I was very familiar with it has I to have a heart murmur and congenital heart block. As I understand, heart murmurs are common in babies but because I have a heart condition, Kolsen needs to see a specialist to make sure there is not a larger problem. I said okay but in my head I was terrified for my son.

I was born with heart issues and continue to deal with my heart. Surgery after surgery after surgery...it's a never ending cycle for me and may ultimately be my demise. It is not something I want my children to endure. Kolsen will be going to the cardiologist on August 29th so we will know more then. Josh tells me I need not worry but all I can do is hope for the best while expecting the worse. I know Kolsen will be fine no matter what happens but it is scary nonetheless.