"Heart" Times

I took Kolsen to the pediatrician yesterday for his 2 month well check. It is hard for me to believe he is already 9 weeks old! While the pediatrician was checking Kolsen's vitals, he turned to me and asked me if I was familiar with what a heart murmur is. I immediately thought, "oh my gosh, something is wrong with his heart! What do I do? What do I say?" Holding back tears, I told him that I was very familiar with it has I to have a heart murmur and congenital heart block. As I understand, heart murmurs are common in babies but because I have a heart condition, Kolsen needs to see a specialist to make sure there is not a larger problem. I said okay but in my head I was terrified for my son.

I was born with heart issues and continue to deal with my heart. Surgery after surgery after surgery...it's a never ending cycle for me and may ultimately be my demise. It is not something I want my children to endure. Kolsen will be going to the cardiologist on August 29th so we will know more then. Josh tells me I need not worry but all I can do is hope for the best while expecting the worse. I know Kolsen will be fine no matter what happens but it is scary nonetheless.